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| Good Mornin', I am at U of H waiting for Rabiya to get out of her class. Since I had nothing better to do for the Spring break, I thought I'd just come along with Rabiya.. maybe get some studying done or something. Hm, so Hazir Imam is coming to U.S! there was dandiya at jamat khana on chandraat. I played for about 45 minutes, heh I know. I am surprised too. Usually I am the last one to leave the dandia area but I had to go to a wedding. Speaking of which, Nordin's sister (Annie) got married during the weekend. It was fun. Some crazy things happened but I'd rather make that a private entry =p. I have lunch with Naseema, Shanil & Nordin in the afternoon today. Speaking of Naseema, this girl is really awesoem. I know her through CCT & let's just say I am really glad i joined. We're like sisters, already! Hm, I can't wait for school to start.. I am tired of being on the break, already. I think I need a job. lol. Anil came home yesterday with his super cool Nikon Camera. It feels like I haven't enjoyed rain in a while. Although, the weather has been really weird and soggy lately. But when i say enjoy rain, I mean.. look out the window & ponder about the important things in life. School is really stressing me out. I am not doing good at all. I need to get back on track. I hate how I get distracted easily, it sucks! I want something exciting to happen to me. Everything is so dull, sorta. I think I need a job&man. haha. I kid. I don't need a man right now. I am enough distracted as it is. You know just sometimes you wnat someone around who you can depend on, kinda. Someone you can call your own.. alright, alright, before I get sentimental and shit, i'll stop. heh. Anyways, I should go do some Statistics. Yea, who studies during Spring break? Anam totally does!....or will. ;) So long! | | |
| Ever wonder why sometimes people think they are smart asses but all they really are is arrogant and pathetic. They think they know everything but they really don't. I dislike those kind of people. It really upsets me to know that I am awfully quick to make judgments about others when I shouldn't be. Negative or positive, doesn't really matter in this situation, really. I mean sure, I can be the worst person on this planet called Earth & I am not really being hypocrite. All i am saying is, get to know a person well before you can make any judgments or even "assume" things. It really isn't the first time I am thinking about this. Take my friend for example. (no names). He probably thought I was all that and a bag of chips but all i turned out to be is a person who can lie, lies and betrays even. Yeah so they say there's no going back so why think about it.. but sometimes you just can't help it, i guess. I am speaking from my perspective and others perspective about me. It all just goes vice versa. Don't know how I am feeling at the moment.Don't know if I should feel stupid, upset, unhappy, or excited. I am not quite sure. Things are happening.. some make me sad & some happy. So, I guess that's life. Hallelujah!
But anyways, A good friend of mine, Ayaz Prabtani wrote a poem for me & i'd like to share it with my xanga readers and save it here as a *memory* =] So here it goes :
Nanhi muni bholi bhaliDaddy ki ye laad dulariDekho dekho duniya walonKitni pyari surat payeeChotisi umer se heekhud ko sab ka dost banayadosti karney pahel kareyhar dost ka ye khayal rakhepyar tha iss ne jaana nahiduniya ko abhi maana nahischool ja ke parh likh gaiAb aaya dekho college ka zamanaduniya ne ek naha roop hai payadosti mein hai pyar ka rang chayasamjh naa aayae ye nayi raaheinbhatke ye kis be khabri meinpyar to sirf dosti ka rang haidosti ke bina pyar na kam haiye samajhna bhi ek masla haiiss ki bholi aankhon pe parda haijo issey pyar lagta haiwo toh shayad koi aur hi shay haipyar to bas ek lafz hai jaanaiss ke bharose koi kuch na payadosti hi jeeney ka naam haidosti se har rishta kum haibaat agar meri samajh mein aayeek chota sa irshaad farma jayeinOut & About~
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| Sometimes i wish life gave us more options. I wish i could go back in time and "fix" things/ do things right. People are rarely ever forgiving and even if the are.. the scar is always there to remind you that you screwed up. one way or the other. You don't get many opportunities, you don't get that many good friends through out your life. So the ones you have right now appreciate them & be grateful for the time given. the friends given. I wish i just had one friend. sigh or three to the most. lol but.. well, point being, more people you know, more drama you welcome in your life. So i have done lots of absurd and pathetic things to get attention from people & such. Is it because my life had always been so.. weirrrd? or because i love being the 'center of attention'. Or is it human nature after all?. I am ashamed of myself sometimes. no really, when i think about past... sigh. I don't even want to start explaining. New day, new beginning i guess. I hope i can do that. I hope i can .. change myself or be a better person the next morning.
So long!
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| I am so sick and tired of myself. It's like i don't even know me. Who the hell am i? and why am i so pathetic? it's like late at night and i am here freaking wondering how i could find out the 'real' me. When i look at myself in the mirror, i can't help but question, "hey, who are you?" Split-personalities. dammit. Fuck, i just realized that i never wanna love anybody, i don't want to fall for anybody and all of you stupid losers out there who live for love, get a fkin life.. you're wasting your time. there are better things out there, you stupid moron! i don't give a shit if you have a girlfriend or boyfriend that you can't live without. stop saying you can't because you can! YOU WILL SURVIVIE assholes, you will. douchebags!
i am done.
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| Hello Fellow Xanga Readers!
So this morning, on my way to Microbiology class over at Town & Country, around 7:30 a.m. A chapta ran the stop sign and hit our car. I was in the passenger seat reading my notes and next thing you know my dad's screaming my name.. over & over.. & i looked up and i almost faced death. Our car rotated about 2-3 times and was spinning for about 2 minutes.. the car swerved to the another side of the road and my dad couldn't control the car. When i looked up the cars were coming toward us in crazy speed and my dad swerved to his right as fast as he could while i am screaming "daddy!" and he held my arm. Sigh*... Anisa was with us too; she was in the back seat. But good thing that we all survived. Now, the crazy thing, the craziest of all.. I still remember the thought that occurred at the time when a couple of cars came rushing toward us and i thought we were gonna die.. sigh. I don't believe it, I mean seriously? I was saying Ya ali ya ali ya ali during the entire situation and so was my dad but the moment, the instant i thought i would die today, i thought of... yeah. I don't understand though. I really don't. Why? That much importance?.. really now?
Anywho, So the mixed emotions can be super annoying sometimes. Sometimes i care less about my love life and sometimes it's all that matters to me, which is obviously not a good thing. I don't even have anybody to love though.. so i don't know what the heck i am having mixed emotions about. I don't love anybody, that's for sure. Do i like somebody? I just can't be too sure. I mean na, i don't. But... could i possibly? maybe?.. what if..? really? no way?.. him? You see *mixed emotions* again. lol Who cares. This semester should be all about studying hard and making all A's. I really need to focus and be determined. It's not gonna be an easy semester. It really isn't. But inshallah, i'll study hard and make good grades. =]
So, why do guys get so aggravated over directions? I mean simple directions! that i couldn't give =p haha. But still i mean, he had no reason to scream at me like that, and yes he screamed. I don't even care if you're reading this. Scream at me again for all i care! but you need to know that you can be the most .... let's see *harsh* person sometimes. And i do not appreciate, i tell ya. Okay fine, so i don't pay attention to the signs, and roads and the places that i pass while i am in the car .. going to school.. but, but, but... i mean. talk about impatience. sheesh. & i mean, look at me, i am so nice and patient. I forgave him even though he refused to apologize for yelling at me. And not to mention, i saved him Ferrero Rocher. i mean, srsly? can you be any meaneR. & than he has guts to laugh. Gosh, one thing people need to know is that, NOBODY screams at Anam. NOONE. Yess, better get it straight! Eh, it wasn't a big deal, I am just making a big deal because I am a drama queen sometimes, hehe.
Sahir Leaves tomorrow for New Jersey at 7 and he's not even doing the packing. His mom is! Mommy's boy. My brother's like that. Mom does everything for him. grr. stupid boys. It was nice seeing him.. saw him twice and for the first time after talking to him for a long time online. Lol, It's funny how we just became so close. It usually takes a while for me to get attached with somebody but with him, it all happened so quick & i am glad that we're friends. He can be weird and mean sometimes, but i still heart him. He's my bestie. <33 awww, i know i know! Although, he does disappear on me every time we're talking. Yep, just randomly.. he goes POOF! and i am like where'd he gooo. For example right now, We're on AIM talking &.. well he's not replying.. i dislike it when he does that. Sahirzeeshan Nizar Ali. haha, I still get a kick out of his name. But i shouldn't be talking because i have a hideously long name. *Edward Cullen, the short version* =p VAMPIRE!
Ahh, got CCT Adult training tomorrow. It's gonna be long as heck! 7:00-4:00. None of my friends are coming though except two people that i am super cool with. well three, if you count the trainers too. Officers are better though =p haha. Nurdin, Shanil, & Zoya. Eh, it'll be alright i suppose. As long as i am doing seva. =] speaking of seva, i am gonna have to be regular in my vol. duty or they will kick me out & that's no good. I love volunteering. It's weird how i give other duties, on random days like srsly, I am always on duty! especially on Fridays.. I barely get to dress up. But that's okay. I just don't give my duty on Mondays loll. Anywho, I should go get some reading done. I still have *eclipse* left to finish.
Song of the moment:
Reit Ka Mehal Banaaya, Haath Teray Kuch Na Aaya,
Jhog Meray Dil Ki Ujri, Aas Ka Diya Bujhaaya,
Bichari Yaadein Dey Kay, Pyar Sab Say Lekay,
Aaj Koi Chala Hai Saj Kay Piya Nagaria Ray,
Yeh Bandhan... Naatay... Saaray... Tor Kay Manwa Ray...
Ho Manwa Ray O Manwa Ray...
Manwa Re- Noori
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